Web-Ellion

Impossible Things, Before Breakfast.

2011-10-14T16:20:00.000+01:00

What on Earth happened?

Welsh rugby fans have become used to dizzying peaks and troughs, but even we now seem to have a case of national vertigo. Partly by accident of scheduling - it must be conceded - but mostly by unprecedentedly good play and management, Wales find themselves in their first RWC semi-final since The One That Doesn't Really Count, the only obstacle between them and ridiculous glory being a French side who have "done an England", by getting this far almost despite themselves.

Ay, there's the fly in the muscle-rub; France. Even worse, BAD France. It's a challenge to recall the last must-win game that France lost having started as underdogs. Dismissing their chances is like giving them a 15-point start. If the consensus holds that the French have one great game in them, then Wales are in trouble, as Les Bleus only spent about a quarter of that credit in seeing off England. There's still 60 minutes of invincibility left in the tank, then.

In a microcosm of the La-La-Land in which this Welsh squad find themselves, the replacement of last month's third-choice fly-half with the man most observers regard as the most creative player in the squad, is widely seen as weakening the Welsh team. Rhys Priestland has been the revelation in a tournament of revelations for Wales, and the success so far has given the lie to the traditional notion that Wales must play with an out-and-out playmaker at either #10 or #12. James Hook is now regarded with suspicion; his defensive imperfections highlighted, his oft-quoted difficulties with game-management pored over. The resurgence of Jamie Roberts as a midfield line-breaker - undeniably central to Wales' success - is widely accredited to Priestland's presence. Hook's inclusion, forced by circumstance, looks likely to radically alter a system that was working just fine without him.

The French loose forward wolfpack will be looking to gorge themselves on Hook; but if they tire and leave gaps, as they did against England, there's no better card in the Welsh deck. Wales' bigger fear is a creative French kicking game, as their scramble defence is not yet up to the standard of their "first-up" tackling. If Médard and Mermoz can get up to speed against a back-pedaling Welsh three-quarter line, they'll back themselves.

So far, arguably Wales' greatest strength has been their refusal to panic when they concede. France will mix it up early on, and will certainly lead at some point in the match. But if any Welsh side of the past generation is equipped to roll with the French punches, it's this one. Too close to call? Not really. If neither side raises their game significantly, Wales will win. It's France who have something to prove - and that should scare Wales silly.

Fantasy Fan Tussle

2011-08-27T13:32:00.002+01:00

Regular readers - yes, both of you - are welcome to join the Web-Ellion RWC2011 fantasy tournament "private league" on ESPN Scrum.

The PIN code is 2410.

Generation Game

2011-08-13T22:23:00.001+01:00

On a day full of absurd statistics - the side with 80% possession lost the match, after all - I offer one that appears to have been overlooked:

The last time Wales beat England by double figures, was the RWC Quarter-final in 1987. The time before that; the 5 Nations in 1979. England have got used to posting cricket scores against Wales, but this was Wales' biggest win over the old enemy in a generation. Just a little something to ponder while we debate the result's wider significance...

Meanwhile, the commendably jovial England fans on this late train to Swansea have, in their overtures to the indigenous sorority, looked far more likely to score than their heroes in white. Chwarae Teg...

Luke Warm-Up

2011-08-09T13:46:00.003+01:00

Much was made of the "experimental" nature of both teams at Twickenham on Saturday. Once Stephen Jones had pulled out with seconds to spare, to leave first-time starter Rhys Priestland as Wales' playmaker, things were looking more -mental than experi-. After Morgan Stoddart's terrible injury, Scott Williams - an uncapped centre - took over at fly-half, and things veered toward the farcical. Let it be said that both players did fine jobs under such trying conditions.

Meanwhile, at the other asymptote of the international experience curve, Jonny Wilkinson had his best game in an England shirt for years. If nothing else, this will have given a few nightmares to any Australians watching. If he can make the improvement stick, he could hardly have timed it better.

Both sides will take limited satisfaction from this match. England looked dangerous in patches, and showed calm control when it mattered. In Armitage's take-and-run, they provided the "champagne moment" of the match. Wales struggled horribly to obtain and maintain possession, but did a lot of good things with such limited ball. Most importantly, they looked more positive in attack, and less locked-in to a structure of play.

Warming up for a World Cup by playing England has gone disastrously wrong for Wales on the last two occasions. England still won this match, but they had to fight for it, and an under-strength Wales team didn't look outclassed. With medical updates suggesting that a significantly stronger matchday XV will be possible for the return leg next week, Warren Gatland might be quietly confident of a morale-boosting win. For England, there's the carrot of bragging rights for a Millennium Stadium double this year. How their fans would love that.

BallsUpGate

2011-03-14T11:14:00.004Z

The events surrounding Wales' try at the weekend are obviously a mess. I think most can agree that referee Jonathan Kaplan should simply have disallowed the try and re-played the lineout.

However, I don't concur with the opprobrium raining down on assistant referee Peter Allan. I believe that Kaplan is primarily to blame. Here's what I think happened; condensed as much as possible, I promise:

The lineout isn't full-formed but several players are in place. Kaplan moves to the correct lineout position, marks it with his foot, and then watches as Rees instantly feeds Phllips to restart. The key issue subsequently is, what does Kaplan think just took place? A quick throw-in, or a lineout?

After Ireland protest the score Kaplan asks Allan "Are you comfortable? Correct ball?"

NOTE - he doesn't ask if it was the SAME ball.

Allan replies "It wasn't a quick throw-in. He threw it in quickly, but..."

Allan KNOWS the ball was changed, but he thinks it is irrelevant because he believes a lineout had formed.

Kaplan, crucially, interrupts him by repeating "Was it the correct ball?" This clearly suggests that he thinks it was a quick throw-in, as it's an irrelevant question otherwise. Allan disagrees, but if repeats his assertion, or asks for clarification, he risks appearing to show dissent and undermining Kaplan's authority. But he does genuinely believe that a fair lineout took place. The safest way out now, as he sees it, is to (a) stick to his original opinion (without repeating it) and (b) answer the question precisely as asked.

He says, carefully, "It's the correct ball, yes."

Kaplan: "It is?"

Allan: "Yes. Yes."

Believing that a lineout took place, Allan regards any match ball as "the correct ball", so this answer is truthful. Assuming that Allan did know about the ball change, what he could have said, without necessarily implying criticism or dissent, is "It wasn't the SAME ball." Under pressure, he played it safe.

But the main fault lies with Kaplan for not making it clear what kind of restart he was officiating over. And he didn't even need to do that explicitly, if only he had just asked "Was that the SAME ball?"

His insistence on the word "correct" effectively passed the buck to his assistant. I don't blame Peter Allan for passing it straight back.

Calling The Mark

2011-03-10T18:53:00.014Z

Much has been made - and fairly so - of Wales' abysmal home record against Ireland. If we thought the Grand Slam decider of '05 had buried the hoodoo, we've been put right on that score since. Whoever comes in as the fancied side, Ireland simply always win this fixture. It's incredibly frustrating, and like all dorsal primates, its grip only seems to increase for struggling.

It's as pertinent as ever this year, as the game offers a knife-edge to Wales' immediate future.Win, and mid-table respectability is secured. Wales can then roll the dice in Paris... and that has worked before. Lose, and the spectre of yet another ignominious fourth place - or worse - casts a suffocating pall of doubt over any foreign ambitions.

But there's a statistical escape route for Wales. Of Ireland's last three victories in Cardiff, two have been secured by late drop-goals from Ronan O'Gara. Factor in his habitual controlling performances on home soil, and it's hard to nominate another single player responsible for so much grievous damage to Welsh rugby fortunes in the last decade. Brian O'Driscoll may inspire a more visceral terror when he takes the field; but it's O'Gara who usually beats us.

So, with the teams widely regarded as being evenly matched - even if that equates more prosaically to "equally mediocre" - and theories abounding as to the strategies that may win the day, I humbly offer my own whiteboard suggestions for securing a rare Welsh victory. In the finest tradition of the armchair theorist; if we don't do this, and lose... well, expect me to file my next blog entry from my holiday chalet in the People's Republic of I Told You So.

Hook Happy To Hook

2011-02-22T15:14:00.004Z

Wales' latest injury-prompted reshuffle may have raised eyebrows across the rugby world, but James Hook has declared himself ready for the challenge of playing in an international front row for the first time in his 50-cap career.

"I'm just happy to play for my country," said the 26-yr-old at the team anouncement, "I know I've not had much experience in the pack - and everyone knows I'm a back at heart - but this is just a new challenge really, and I'm up for it."

"The clue was in the name, really" said forwards coach Robin McBryde, when asked to explain his thinking. "Hook, hooker - I'm actually not sure why we didn't spot it earlier. James has responded really well in training, and I think I've even noticed one of his ears start to curl..."

"James has been our first-choice fly-half for nearly two weeks now." backs coach Rob Howley explained. "I'm sure the chance to have a change, to try something new, will only make him a better player."

Hook's sudden and unexpected admission to the fabled "Front Row Union" has left little time for bonding with his new packmates. However, McBryde was able to use the team announcement to present Hook with a gift from his teammates, in the form of a stringed musical instrument. Head coach Warren Gatland then revealed that the squad would be leaving the hotel direct for a local dairy farm, where a brief initiation ceremony would be performed.

Different Kinds of Average

2011-02-15T14:25:00.004Z

Against England in Cardiff, Wales were decidedly average. Against slightly-better-than-average opponents, it seemed they just weren't quite average enough. What such a downtrodden and self-doubting bunch most needed next, was to come up against a side for whom the rarefied uplands of "Average" are but a giddy dream. Step forward, then, "much-improved" pre-match favourites, Scotland.

Australia and South Africa have recently failed at Murrayfield. Argentina coughed up only their second-ever series defeat to northern opposition when faced with this rejuvenated, resurgent Scottish team. Popular wisdom said that Wales - floundering, spluttering, punch-drunk Wales - were just so much haggis meat.

Well, the pundits weren't completely wrong. Wales were still average, although they did seem this time to have at least crested the foothills and begun an assault on Average Peak. Scotland? Well, frankly, no-one has any idea. This was a no-show that even Donald Rumsfeld might have seemed embarrassed to explain. Scottish fans are no strangers to disappointment, of course, but it's hard to remember seeing any Scotland team play quite so spectacularly badly as they did on Saturday.

All of which - rather annoyingly - dulls the joy of a long-awaited Welsh win. 24-6 is a hearteningly comprehensive scoreline. In fact, it's Wales' second-best winning margin in Edinburgh. It was achieved with the best 20 minutes of attacking rugby this team have produced in two years, followed by an hour of calmness and control that had previously seemed far beyond their capabilities. It was, in all honesty, nothing special for all that. It didn't need to be. Wales took their chances, made their tackles, used their strengths and avoided their weaknesses. It was an impressive professional performance, in a game that will be swiftly, and justly, forgotten. An "ugly" win, but a big one.

Rome awaits for a Wales team who will now have half a spring in their step. It would be as well for them to expect to meet the Italian team that made Ireland look so ordinary, rather than the sickly shadow that helped make England look so fine. This remains an eminently losable match. But a least the sense of doom has now been replaced by a more healthy apprehension.

Meanwhile, Scotland's drawing board needs to be returned to the drawing board factory for replacement, before they can even think of going back to the drawing board. And long before the Irish arrive in town.

An Uneasy Nostalgia

2011-02-04T09:26:00.004Z

Wales v England in Cardiff. Although Wales have won this fixture the last three times, only last time, in 2009, were they actually pre-match favourites. That was a novel experience for Welsh fans. Tonight, things are pretty much back to normal, and it doesn't feel good.

Sure, most pundits give this depleted Wales outfit a fighting chance against a similarly weakened English side. Nonetheless, most of the smart money seems to rest on a narrow victory for the Great White Satan. How different things looked only a few weeks ago. Then, how the backs were going to make the most of their forwards' dominance seemed Wales' greatest problem. It's hard not to feel sorry for Paul James and Craig Mitchell, who must be sick of hearing how the Welsh front row is now a shadow of itself. But with two Lions props missing, how can it be viewed otherwise? James is rapidly improving as a player, but he's no Gethin Jenkins, while Mitchell is on the dangerous end of the promise/experience curve which Adam Jones has negotiated with aplomb. Mere parity at the scrum would now be an achievement.

The plus side for Wales is that England's lineout is similarly denuded. There will be no excuses there - which may have been the factor which got Stephen Jones' control the nod at 10, over the temptations of James Hook's creativity. As ever, an iniquitous burden rests on the veteran fly-half's broad shoulders. Should he carry it through, Wales might just beat the odds.

And so they should. England are a more confident, settled side, but the difference is not great enough for Wales ' fans to accept a home defeat. It's a must-win match for both sides, indeed - but a fully-firing home side should edge it. For better or worse, it's left to this matchday XXII to instil a new confidence in their anxious public, that what can be done, will. Are they up to it?

Ospreys to Play Pre-Season Friendly on Mars

2011-01-05T12:29:00.008Z

In a bold move to promote Magners League rugby to a wider audience, the Ospreys' management today confirmed that their August 2011 pre-season fixture (opponents TBC) will be played on the Chryse Planitia, Mars.

President Azaxyr Cavor, of the red planet's embryonic Barsoom Rugby Federation, announced at a joint media conference on Moonbase 4;

"For many years, the people of Mars have regarded the Magners League with envious eyes. When I first proposed the construction of the Chryse Stadium, many told me, 'Even if you build it, the chances of them coming are a million-to-one!'

Today, my colleagues and I stand vindicated, as Mars welcomes First Class rugby football in what we all hope will be the first of many interplanetary sporting exchanges."

Asked why the Ospreys had chosen Mars rather than the Liberty Stadium or - as a possible compromise - the Moon, Ospreys head coach Scott Johnson replied "We considered it - but there's just no atmosphere there." At time of writing it was unclear which venue Johnson was referring to.

Members of the Martian public attending the event seemed broadly enthusiastic. "Rugby seems a natural extension of traditional Martian values" said onlooker Mr. V. M. Smith.

"Also, we like those stands you use for the cameras. Three legs - very good!"

----------

(Disclaimer: This article aspires to be a satirical response to this one in the Daily Telegraph. Scientists regard the existence of rugby pitches on Mars to be highly unlikely. 'Smith' is not a real name.)

And all because...

2011-01-04T22:43:00.005Z

It was a bit of a "Thornton's Selection" Christmas for an Ospreys supporter; an overdose of smooth caramel and Turkish delight, followed by a stale, tooth-cracking praline that turned out okay once swallowed.

It's not really Christmas until the Turks are stuffed, perhaps; but after the initial euphoria of the Ospreys' 60-17 solution to the "Best of the West" conundrum, things felt a little flat. Had the victims been Munster or Leicester, there would have been unbridled joy; but in truth I take no pleasure in seeing any Welsh side take so fulsome a thrashing, even at my own team's hands. With my Welsh hat on (I don't have a Welsh hat; it's an expression, okay?) it's unhealthy for the national team when a region struggles. The Scarlets' subsequent recovery to beat the Dragons suggests that their capitulation at Liberty Stadium was a blip. I hope so, as fervently as any of my monocular cousins.

On New Year's Eve, I sat disconsolately behind the wrong set of posts at the Cardiff City Stadium, as the team that had scored 60 points mere days ago seemed bent on conceding a similar total to the Blues. The second half reversal of fortunes meant that I got to see precious little action, but it was enough to suggest that the Ospreys had experienced a "blip" of their own. They tore into the Blues with a vengeance, and after leading by 21 at one stage, the home side did superbly well to cling on for a two-point win. Both teams will feel that they achieved something. They're both right.

Some Appetiser!

2010-11-13T10:45:00.003Z

Well, perhaps I didn't expect to enjoy it that much!

Yes, it was an inexperienced and tired Leicester side that would be flattered by the description "2nd String". Yes, the developmental philosophy embraced by most participants makes these LV Cup matches as close to dead rubbers as Anglo-Welsh encounters can be.

Let's say all that first, because it's no hyperbole to continue that the Ospreys' B-listers turned in the most exciting display by any Ospreys side for a couple of seasons now. That their 8-try evisceration of the hapless Tigers took place in conditions that would functionally excuse a 3-3 draw, only makes it the more impressive. It was a thrilling display of "heads-up" rugby, a lesson in playing fast and loose and without fear. Names that have been prompting Ospreys fans to ask "who?" when they appear on the Magners League benches, will now be the talk of the clubhouse. Ashley Beck, Kristian Phillips, Jason Tepuric and Matthew Morgan might be tempted to send their senior team-mates a showreel DVD of this match for Christmas.

As a curtain-raiser for today's international it could hardly have whetted the appetite more fulsomely. And so, as we turn our thoughts there, another of the "Who?" brigade is promoted to Saviour-In-Chief of Welsh Rugby. That George North has appeared from nowhere is nothing new for Welsh fans. Neither will be the deflation when he fails to beat South Africa single-handed. How he copes with the near-inevitable comedown this evening will most likely be the measure of the man. Not that measurements are something he is lacking...

A good chance for Wales today, then - "on paper", as we like to say. But the weight of History is great, and paper is very thin. Let's hope for the forwards to improve on their already impressive form, and for the return of Lee Byrne at full-back to allow James Hook to prove what we all know, but have started to forget.

An Untried Allegiance

2010-11-12T11:21:00.008Z

This evening, the Ospreys will play their first ever home fixture at The Brewery Field, Bridgend.

When the Celtic Warriors regional franchise meekly assumed the mammaries-uppermost position, some of South Wales' oldest rugby communities were left bereft of first-class representation on the field. Most of the sympathetic noises gravitated towards the old talent foundry of Pontypridd, a club more well adapted to the role of the martyr. The house that had produced JPR and Rob Howley, amongst others, nonetheless carried less caché with Welsh rugby romantics. Its slip into obscurity occurred with a comparative whimper.

Perhaps the Warriors never convinced as a coherent "region". When they expired, the Bridgend club fell under the expanded Ospreys franchise; an attachment even more seemingly arbitrary than the previous one. The town's membership of the imagined community of "Ospreylia" is notional, at best. Tonight, however, should provide the clearest idea yet of the extent to which this new loyalty has been embraced.

The occasion is hardly auspicious; the LV cup is being played out by under-strength teams in a confused and uninvolving format. It would be stretching the truth to claim that winning it was amongst any team's principle ambitions. That said, there's always added spice when English teams visit, and they don't come much spicier than the Leicester Tigers. Add in the return of a certain ex-Ospreys scrum-half in opposition, and things get so "spicy" that the metaphor may collapse under the strain...

So, off down the M4 with me to sample the hospitality of my regional brethren. I hope they like what they see. I'm sure I will.

Not so near, yet not so far...?

2010-11-07T08:52:00.003Z

So; it could have been worse, then...

On the face of it, being upbeat about another home defeat feels like a retrograde step. Of course, in the long term, being outscored by three tries to one at home is unacceptable.

But watching a horribly depleted Wales side compete as they did with a rampant Australia, it would take a fair old commitment to negativity in order not to feel at least mildly encouraged.

Yes, Australia were far superior in attacking play, and worthy winners as a result. But then some purists, and not just Welsh ones, will opine that no side producing such a comically inept scrummaging display should be awarded a moral victory. At one late point where Wales put in to a defensive 5m scrum, the BBC commentators were moved to suggest that they might attempt the pushover... it really was that bad. Wales were warned pre-match that David Pocock would boss the breakdown, and yet the inexperienced Sam Waburton made a decent fist of things there. Even in the lineout, Wales appeared to have the measure of their opponents, which is a rare sight indeed.

Behind the scrum, though, things were pretty desperate. Although the scratch-built three-quarter line must take its share of praise for containing their rampaging opponents in defence, in attack Wales had simply nothing worth speaking of. With the top playmaker stranded at full-back in a game that was short on tactical kicking, the midfield was a creativity desert. A badly off-form Stephen Jones, a tiring Tom Shanklin and "dependable" but uninspiring Andrew Bishop made few mistakes, but neither could they make anything happen with a decent share of possession. On the wings, Shane Williams and new boy Will Harries seemed only present to make the dissapointing attendance figures look more respectable.

With Mike Phillips at 9 also looking a ghost of his true self, it's hard to recall a less exciting Welsh backline. Coming on late to replace Phillips, Ritchie Rees signifcantly improved matters, scored a well-deserved try, and must surely now start against South Africa next week.

It was left to Australia's young backs to light up the afternoon, with Kurtley Beale the obvious star on display (ill-advised moustache notwithstanding). That's hard to swallow, but then the coaching team are clutching at fairly substantial chunks of driftwood when they point to the list of attacking selections that were denied to them. This was as close to a 2nd XV as Wales have had to field for a while, and stronger outfits have performed less creditably in recent memory. Nothing to get excited about, perhaps; but reason enough to keep the cyanide pills in the locker for another week, at least.

Anyone here play rugby...?

2010-10-26T14:01:00.003+01:00

Another October, another procession of Welsh crocks. Yet again, Wales will take on "the Best in the World" this autumn without the services of many of the best in Wales. Ryan Jones, Jamie Roberts and Lee Byrne represent the "spine" of the Welsh team in more than a metaphorical sense. With wing Leigh Halfpenny joining the sick list, any semblance of full-strength is gone. For strike runners, Wales will have to look to players such as Chris Czekaj, Will Harries and Aled Brew; fine prospects all, but a sparse handful of caps and a fair few seasons of international neglect between them. They will, quite rightly, see the autumn series as a marvellous opportunity. Unfortunately, Wales' opponents will have reason to feel the same.

Not that the usual suspects were in the finest of fettle before the gremlins came a-calling. Mixed results in the early Heineken Cup rounds were followed by disastrously flat performances in the Magners League by the Ospreys and the Cardiff Blues. Only the Scarlets in the Welsh squad have anything to be proud of... and it's not much.

There has been noticeably less talk from the coaches this year about "finding out where we are", and that's a small mercy. That mantra has rung increasingly hollow as we endure annual confirmation of our perpetual inferiority. We know where we are by now; the trick lies in doing something about it. Whether these "friendlies" really help squad development is a moot point, especially considering the effect on morale of regular home defeats. But they're not going to go away, so perhaps it is better, in the long term, to play them with inexperienced or fringe players? Either to enhance the depth of squad experience or - forgive the cynicism - to spread the pain a little more thinly?

12,437 Reasons to be Cheerful

2010-10-19T12:35:00.004+01:00

At last, a decent-sized crowd at the Liberty Stadium on Friday night, to watch the Ospreys take on London Irish in the Heineken Cup. What they got for their efforts was not a classic, but it was worth the money nonetheless.

In truth, the féted Aviva Premiership leaders brought precious little to the party, beyond a laudable attacking mindset. The home defence has withstood far more robust challenges, and - the irritatingly familiar interception try excepted - never looked like being breached. In attack, though, the Ospreys were again lethargic and laboured, all the more frustrating when thrown into relief by moments of brilliance. Shane Williams' roof-raising solo score was actually only his second most impressive break of the night, while James Hook's release of an angled Tommy Bowe in the opening minutes carried the whiff of sorcery.

Brief moments of inspiration perhaps, but they were more than enough to see off an oddly out-of-sorts opposition. Irish fly-half Ryan Lamb missed a succession of routine kicks at goal which could have kept his side in the hunt, and despite their relief, home fans saw a chilling echo of the failure of Dan Biggar at Toulon the previous week. For his part, Biggar had gone a long way to repairing his damaged reputation in the first half, before being forced off early in the second. Some hearteningly broad shoulders in evidence, there.

(PLUG ALERT!!! All of this was documented by the Twitter feed @ospreyslive , active for all Ospreys home games this season.)

Due to the annoyance of the bonus point system (I'll spare you that rant) the Ospreys are already behind Munster in the group table. With a parsimonious defence but a profligate attack, it's difficult to see where subsequent bonus points are going to come from. But, with the English Top Guns ably spiked, confidence shouldn't be a problem now.

Open the Boks: Take The Money!

2010-06-04T15:29:00.003+01:00

One win. One draw. Twenty-One defeats.

There's no flattering angle to take on Wales' international record against South Africa. It's the most comprehensive domination in test rugby. Even Scotland have a considerably better record against the Springboks than Wales.

I recall being picked up and waved like a flag by a giant, delirious stranger when Ed Morrison blew the final whistle on the 26th of June, 1999. In the inaugural match at the Millennium Stadium, Wales had not only won - they had comprehensively dispatched Gary Teichmann's side, the visitors even suffering the indignity of running in a late "consolation" try as they went down 29-19. The reigning world champions were not at full strength, true - but they had still been widely expected to deal with Graham Henry's upstarts in traditional fashion. It was a seismic result - but the aftershocks stubbornly refused to come. Normal service was quickly resumed.

No surprise, then, that 1999 should feature prominently in previews of tomorrow's money-spinning friendly at the same venue. Never mind that the Boks have won here five times since; the talk is all about their lack of preparation, their three new caps, the "development" feel of their match 22...

Yeah, right...

Wales are themselves under-powered, with four Lions missing. We may feel the need to move on from a reliance on Shane Williams, but the fact remains that the absentee wing is the one Welsh player that South African defenders genuinely fear. Similarly, there will be warm glows amongst the Bok forwards at the absence of Gethin Jenkins and Martin Williams from the lineup. If this is a clash of the understudies, then that cuts both ways.

None of that, however, gets Wales off the hook. They must win this game, plain and simple. If they are to be taken seriously abroad - starting with New Zealand this month - then under-strength visitors to Cardiff must be repulsed, regardless of circumstance, and regardless of history. Moral victories and heroic downfalls no longer cut the mustard with most Welsh fans, and thank goodness for that. Wales face a simple Boolean. A one-point defeat would be abject failure; a one-point victory, pass with distinction. Their second-best-ever (a draw) will not do at all.

It's time for another earthquake...

Sour Grapes

2010-03-21T13:16:00.005Z

A third Grand Chelem in a decade is not to be sniffed at, and France were this season's best Six Nations team by a distance.

Are you ready for the "But..."?

But... Gods, they were boring! Controlled aggression in Scotland, followed by a clinical demolition of Ireland in Paris, seemed to show a ruthless streak allied to their usual flair; and if that flair had seemed rather subdued this time... well, that wouldn't last, right?

Wrong. France proceeded to strangle a Wales side that played 100% of the rugby on display, winning with interceptions and penalty goals. Mightily impressive once more, but - whisper it - a bit dull? Where was the élan? Where was the gallic swagger? Well, we got some at last - against Italy. Big deal. Finally, a previously timid and directionless England side stepped up for the slaughter in Paris. Surely this was the cue for the show to finally start?

...12-10?!?!

England - Martin Johnson's England, for Pete's sake - showed all the ambition, all the passion, and scored the only try of the game, a peach from New White Hope Ben Foden. France scored one scruffy drop-goal and three penalties. England won the second half 3-0.

Even from an armchair in Swansea - a vantage from which watching England lose never seems to get old - it felt like one final English push upfield, ending the French party with a Wilko special, would have been no more than natural justice.

We rightly praise teams for pragmatism; for knowing the right time to concentrate on playing rugby, and the right time to focus on stopping the opposition from doing likewise. But we could frankly do without teams who choose safety first, second and third. France had a license to cut loose against an England side who, for all their bravery, could not possibly have resisted them had they done so. They chose not to do so. No, it wasn't England forcing France back into their shells - they withdrew there of their own accord. Always in complete control, they deliberately opted for negativity.

Congratulations, France. But shame on you, too.

They'll Be Dancing in the Streets of Heaven Tonight...

2010-01-19T19:00:00.002Z

Bill McLaren.

Long before I even liked rugby, Bill's voice was one of those atmospherics of well-being that eminated from the tinny speakers in the corners of my life. Like Oliver Postgate or Raymond Baxter, it was a voice that spoke of all being well with the world. That little safe place where your overburdened adult ego dashes to in a crisis? Bill McLaren is in mine.

Phrases like "great ambassador" may creak with over-use, but that's not Bill's fault. He was an ambassador of decency and goodwill not just for rugby, but for sport as a whole. Every purrring syllable spoke of his fraternal nature and, above all, his superhuman command of impartiality. Able to conduct himself with dignity even when his own son-in-law scored for Scotland, he was willing to join with you in your euphoria as your own team triumphed, even when against his beloved homeland.

His sad passing at the well-deserved age of 86 is really an epitaph for an era which died when he retired in 2002. But Death, be not proud; I just checked into my little safe place, and Bill McLaren is still there.

Heat of the Moment?

2009-12-08T14:07:00.003Z

Saturday's game at Liberty Stadium was, by some distance, the Ospreys' best team performance of the season so far. A now-familiarly patchwork home team out-thought and out-fought a strong Munster outfit, in the pouring rain. As entertainment, it lacked something, but given what we've sat through so far this year, no-one was complaining. This was much, much better.

I had to say all that first, because here comes some angry criticism.

19-7 down with ten minutes to play, Munster, as everyone surely expected, staged a late rally and took control of the final stages. Unable to prevent this, the Ospreys "dug in" and defended, for the large part, with skill and courage. One irresistable drive gave Munster a try, but by that point the match was in injury time, and the hard-won delay seemed to have been decisive. With seconds to go, the Ospreys were awarded a penalty 45m out. Game Over - or should have been. Kick for goal, use up the remaining time - no? If you score, you deny the opposition a bonus point; miss, and you're still defending 100m of space for the few remaining seconds. There doesn't even seem to be a problem to solve here. The Ospreys, however, found one. A short but intense on-field conference ended in Dan Biggar kicking for a line-out. If the players were surprised to lose possession from the subsequent throw, they must have been the only ones in the stadium. Munster were gifted a last chance. Incomprehensibly, they kicked it away... Naturally, Ospreys fullback Gareth Owen made his first mistake of the night, and knocked on... Mercifully, the referee had seen enough ineptitude for one phase, and blew for no-side.

For all the due praise for a much improved spirit and application, the Ospreys' apparent fixation on prising defeat from the jaws of victory was incomprehensibly stupid. All that skill and effort risks being rendered futile if there is no tactical sense whatsoever. They got away with this one, but the problem doesn't seem to be going away.

Ooh, You Are Autumn!

2009-11-29T18:05:00.002Z

Well, it was a fairly depressing Autumn series for Wales in the end. Four tries scored in four home games; one from a kick, one from a trick, and two from loose ball situations. In 320+ minutes of rugby, they created nothing. The frustration of the supporters boiled over on Saturday evening as Wales were booed from the field at the Millennium Stadium. They can have no complaints; unlike the poor punter, £45 pounds (or more) poorer for another no-show. Sport is still the only theatre where one can't expect a refund even if the cast forget every single line. Perhaps Wales need to follow the example of Wigan Athletic? Fat chance...

"Wales may be the first major international team to have perfected the drift attack: flat, one-paced, ready for the hit and pushing for the safety of the touchline."
- Gareth Roberts, BBC.

As fans, we have grown up in recent years. We no longer believe that style is paramount. We understand that winning is, if not everything, then at least 51% of everything. But what we cannot forgive, is failure without style. We can still stomach defeat, but we cannot abide deserving defeat. When there is no refuge in injustice, there is nowhere else to turn but inward.

And so, for the first time, there are real rumblings of disquiet about the coaching team. Has Warren Gatland taken us as far as he can? Has Shaun Edwards' defensive system been found out? And what are Howley and McBride actually doing? Suddenly, these aren't taboo questions any more. But that's not to say that they have obvious answers. If not this team, then who? And would change at the top really help, or are this squad in irreversible decline?

No answers here, I'm afraid. It's dangerous to hang too much hope on individuals, but it's hard not to imagine that things would be different with Adam Jones, Lee Byrne and, above all, Gavin Henson in the squad. And so it comes down to the old angst about "strength in depth"; once again it seems to be fatally lacking, and undermining what success is achieved. No coach is going to solve that overnight.

In the short term, the similarly desperate state of other Six Nations squads ameliorates the crisis. With England floundering, the French golden age over before it began, and Scotland being... Scotland, it seems that even a struggling Wales side will stand a chance of doing well in the New Year. Perhaps short term success is going to have to be the limit of our ambitions for now? World domination, it seems, will have to wait. Again.

Missing In Action

2009-11-05T11:55:00.005Z

BBC SPORT | Rugby Union | Ospreys v Northampton (Thu)

That the Ospreys are claiming 29 absentees for tonight's Anglo-Welsh game is a dramatic illustration of the farce that the modern squad system is becoming. Some may well ask how on Earth a squad that can lose 29 players, and still field a match 22, is sustainable. I certainly wouldn't want to be paying that wage bill while barely filling 7000 seats.

Still, it's a chance to see players we've never seen before; or even heard of. I confess I don't know James King from Adam (Jones, ha-ha). The best of luck to him.

The good news is that the Northampton side will be a similar patchwork, so there are still no excuses; and given the fare that the first XV have produced thus far, this is a golden opportunity for players like Ryan Bevington and Jonathan Spratt to begin capitalizing the P in Potential. I also have high hopes of Gareth Owen, so much freer-looking at fly-half and one of the few bright spots in last weekend's soporific 9-9 draw with Glasgow.

Of course, it's all just an hors d'oeuvre for Saturday's ~~ritual sacrifice~~ international match. Let's hope the boys can put me in a good mood before that ordeal begins...

Blue Isn't The Colour

2009-10-30T14:49:00.002Z

England unveil new away kit - Telegraph

Ooh, [rant mode=ON]

What are England doing in blue? It may be an unwritten rule - indeed, it may well exist only in my head - but there are some colours that certain countries should never sport. "National" colours must come from flags, or other readily-identifiable national symbols. England and Wales cannot be blue. White, red and green are okay, although green is pushing it for England. Wales can justify black and gold (from St. David's cross). Scotland or Ireland would look bloody silly playing in red, wouldn't they? Orange was daft enough...

Bah. Double-bah if you're Scottish, I imagine - as England's sense of "ownership" of blue undoubtedly stems, consciously or not, from the Union Flag. Bah!

[rant mode=OFF]
[partisan mode=ON]

Anyway, off to Liberty in a while to watch the Ospreys' Reserves' Wives' Friends' Under-21 XV take on Glasgow. The omens are hardly good. Young players must be developed, of course, and this is the kind of fixture to do it; but it's no use pretending that this is the XXII we'd select by choice. That said, our choices haven't exactly covered themselves in glory thus far...

Failure To Launch

2009-09-15T02:41:00.009+01:00

A few weeks ago, I opined that the Ospreys didn't look rusty. Sadly, it appears they've been left out in the Swansea rain ever since.

Saturday's game at Liberty Stadium was excruciating. Some of the rugby played was of amateur quality... but such highlights were scarce. Ulster won't and shouldn't care; they leave with a valuable scalp, entirely merited simply by virtue of their status as visitors. It wasn't their job to provide entertainment, and it's not their fault that the home side were so abject. A tiny handful of loyal travelling fans sang deliriously at the death, and it was impossible not to smile.

The Ospreys were epically clueless. At the breakdown, they flopped and floundered; behind it, they formed line abreast along the gain-line like bemused cattle, inevitably catching man-and-ball repeatedly, as they denied themselves the time and space to craft openings. When the painfully slow ball that resulted wasn't being shipped on to another statuesque "option runner", it was being shanked heavenward without even the pretense of a tactical context. Forward and backs alike seemed to treat the ball as if getting rid of the thing was an end in itself.

Ulster brought precious little to the party; but they brought enough. Ian Humphries' bald competence at fly-half easily eclipsed the ragged torpor of his counterpart James Hook, managing to ensure that what few moments of creativity appeared, favoured the men in white. A try count of 2-3 is all that need be said to illustrate their worthiness.

But as a spectacle, the game was unwatchable. It's a tragedy that around 7000 of us had nowhere else to look...

Blood on the Carpet

2009-09-09T09:31:00.001+01:00

Bloodgate - The Sequel

Excellent words from Will Carling on the machinations of self-absolution and cover-up.

But Will and other ex-player pundits are unavoidably compromised when discussing the matter. There are friendships and loyalties involved everywhere, and these can make it impossible to remain objective.

As with nearly everything I've read from ex-players on this issue, Carling can't resist pointing out Dean Richards' status as a scapegoat. It's a perfectly fair point and an understandable one for someone who knows Dean Richards - the whole man, not the straw one - to make. The problem is, it's irrelevant to the big picture, and sounds - however unfairly- like apologism.

Richards was fully complicit in an affair which has not only shamed the sport publically, but has also been a betrayal of all those with an investment in it, from major corporate sponsors right down to you and me, sat in the pub, cheering the exploits men we feel the right to regard as heroes.

Pundits who either say or imply that "everyone knew what was going on" miss the point. There is a distinction between the general suspicion that not everyone is playing fair at all times, and certain knowledge that systematic and cynical cheating has been proceeding unchecked. Once a crime is proved, it it not enough to say, in effect, "well what did you expect?" To bring the full weight of authority to bear on those caught in the act, is not to suggest that there are no other culpable parties. To jail a few hoods may be no substitute for dismantling The Mob; but it's better than nothing, and a welcome start, so long as a start it truly is.

It is up to all students and lovers of the game now to ensure that any sanitizing operation fails; that the light remains shining on the culprits of our humiliation and the "G&T brigade" are not allowed to absolve themselves of responsibility, past, present or future. Dean Richards and his small band of co-defendants are due that much, but no more.

Is Richards a scapegoat? Certainly. But he is a fully deserving one. The notion that he was simply playing along with an existing culture of deceit simply won't wash. Even if he was not a founding father of that culture, as a senior figure in the game, his complicity perpetuated and legitimized it. I can't find an ounce of sympathy for him.

But that's easy for me to say.

Friends... For Now.

2009-08-23T01:24:00.003+01:00

Leeds Carnegie were the visitors for Ospreys' first pre-season friendly, in a preview of their visit "in anger" next February in the Anglo-Welsh Cup. The Ospreys will be hoping it was a full dress-rehearsal, as they eased to a 35-20 victory in an entertaining match.

Despite the farcical number of substitutions, both sides held together commendably well, and there was little of the rustiness usually associated with these affairs. While the home side always had the edge, Leeds played positively, scored three tries, and never let the Ospreys out of sight.

The big "draw" for the game was the debut of trophy signing Jerry Collins (right) at No8., and he was fully involved without ever being conspicuous. Meanwhile, veteran full-back Barry Davies looked at or near his creative best and seems a fine signing for the region as cover for Lee Byrne. Davies created the first score for Johnny Vaughton with a perfect grubber kick, then scored himself soon afterward. Replaced on 65 minutes, he'd played a blinder and should he keep that up, Byrne will be kept on his toes.

What on Earth the Ospreys were doing playing in "Newport" colours, however, is anyone's guess. It's not a bad strip per se, but it's a departure from black-and-white, and it doesn't sit well. Gold just doesn't feel Ospreylian, somehow...

The Late Show

2009-02-27T09:48:00.004Z

And on the bill this evening; Modern Blues.

They may be new names to some of you, ladies & gentlemen, but don't let that worry you - they are mostly new names to each other, as well.

What on Earth Monsieur Lievremont is playing at this time is a question for drama critics as much as for sports pundits. A fly-half who has never played there before, a winger shifted to full-back, and an uncapped centre pre-packaged with a poor disciplinary record, as part of a centre pairing who have only played together once, in training...

If it was anyone other than France, one could simply blow a dismissive raspberry and talk about Wales' margin of victory.

But it isn't anyone other than France. Wales wore the unfamiliar mantle of the favourite at home against England impressively enough, but now they must carry that title forward onto the field at Stade de France. It was a first in twenty years against the English, but Wales going to Paris as favourites hasn't happened for an even longer time.

Thankfully, the powder keg is almost entirely anhydrous. The return of Shane Williams to the wing, and Gavin Henson on the replacements bench, gives Wales pretty much a full deck of cards to play behind the scrum. Things look a little sparer up front, with Luke Charteris and Dafydd Jones seeming rather light cover for a pack that must contain Harinordoquoy, Ouedrago, Dusutoir and Chabal...

Whoever wins this one will have achieved something special. Wales must find, if not a new dimension, then at least the occisional wild vector if the failings exposed by England are not to haunt them again. France must simply find each other.

As Ye Sow...

2009-02-24T17:25:00.008Z

England are still moaning about their perceived victimization by referees, with more emphasis on Jonathan Kaplan's performance in Cardiff.

They might, possibly, have a point. It's not beyond all reason that, on a subconscious level, certain refs scrutinize England more closely than their opponents. But there are several caveats to such a concession:

England have brought this upon themselves, by reverting to their negative instincts, and prioritizing disruption of the opposition over constructive attacking play. They have been one of the most streetwise^* teams in the world for many years, and without a trace of shame. That they have somehow mislaid these skills is bad luck, but frankly, it's all a bit "rich".

Just as northern-hemisphere referees have a partially-deserved reputation for overzealousness with regards to technicalities, so southern refs have had, for a long time, a tendency to favour the attacking side and over-penalise the defending team. Once again, England reaped the rewards of this for many seasons as their muscular forwards allowed Rob Andrew et al. to kick less conservative teams to death.

The majority of the sin-binnings recently suffered by England have been open-and-shut cases. Haskell and Geraghty were stupid, Tindall suffered for the repeated sins of the team after multiple warnings, and Goode's transgression, if understandable, was transparently cynical. They do have a case regarding Lee Byrne, however!

We all remember that there was more than a whiff of "payback" when New Zealand bemoaned the forward pass that cost them so dearly in the RWC07 quarter-final. Likewise, England's bellyaching about skewed refereeing increasingly looks to the rest of us like so many chickens returning home to their Twickenham roosts.

^* The standard rugby euphemism for "cheating".

Look At The Scoreboard!

2009-02-18T23:26:00.008Z

We're still learning this "favourites" lark.

Read the papers and websites in the aftermath of Saturday's fixture in Cardiff, and you could be forgiven for struggling to work out who England's opponents had been. Such was the celebration accorded to a functional defensive plan and a few hard tackles, it was almost as if Wales actually winning the game - by two clear scores, at that - had escaped all notice. Even from neutral quarters, there came the kind of headline that brought either nostalgic sighs or peals of laughter from the pubs & clubs of Wales.

It's only fair to highlight a few dissenting voices; Will Carling being notably, and commendably off-message, and stealth Welshman John Taylor bringing some perspective.

This collective critical navel-gaze may stir derision from partial commentators like the one you are reading. But it will no doubt be fine and dandy by Messers Gatland, Edwards & Howley. They quietly press on with the business of trying to win the championship, with once again all the focus on someone else.

Saturday's game was a new test for Wales, and if they didn't get straight As, they passed comfortably enough. There was no panic when it became clear that, as widely suspected, England were no pushovers after all. There was perhaps a little too much adherence to a "plan A" that wasn't entirely working, but it ultimately proved to be working well enough, and was justified by the result.

In fact, it was the newly-confident English who sought to open the game out more; a development as praiseworthy as it was surprising. That Wales refused to get pulled out of shape, plugged away, and finally doused the fire with water still left in the tanks, provided yet another sign of a team growing as a unit and as individuals.

The midfield handling by the forwards for Leigh Halfpenny's try was a thing of rare beauty, but overall this must count as an "ugly" win; and, in the final analysis, may appear all the more beautiful for that.

The Scent of Blood...

2009-02-13T20:45:00.007Z

1988.

Salman Rushdie published "The Satanic Verses". Michael Keaton spooked us with "Beetlejuice". U2 released the album "Rattle & Hum". And the Welsh rugby team were the bookies' favourites for the Five Nations match with England at Twickenham...

It hasn't happened since. A generation of Wales fans have grown up as fans of the underdogs. It's taken an age for the wheel to turn, but turn it finally has. England will take the field at the Millennium Stadium on Saturday evening, as rank outsiders. Read that last sentence again. Yes, it's true.

Warren Gatland has no problem with being a favourite. It's a mentality he has worked hard to instil in his Welsh charges; and it does indeed seem to be rubbing off. There is no sense coming from within the camp of the discomfiture without. "Bring 'em on" seems to be the mantra. "Gats" has even found time to indulge in the psychological psilly-pseason. His announcement that Wales have decoded England's lineout calls is a masterful piece of nonsense; it can be doubted, derided, even mocked... but it cannot be ignored. Genius?

There's a consensus among pundits that Wales have too much in just about every department. The cold numbers foretell a hefty Welsh win. Those who recall the litany of recent English drubbings of Wales lick their lips at the prospect of long-delayed revenge.

But it can't, and won't, be that easy. England's fitness, skill levels, tactical awareness and strategic direction may be safely questioned. Their sheer bloody-mindedness, however, should never be under-estimated. If eyes are to remain fixed on the prize, then a close, ugly home win in Cardiff must be embraced if required.

"Payback" is simply an optional extra.

Yes, We Have No Banana Skins...

2009-02-09T12:31:00.007Z

Wales 26-6 (dec.)
Scotland 7 (all out)

Few Welsh dreams played out the Murrayfield game as easily as reality ultimately allowed. Scotland - admittedly handicapped by injury and looney selection - proved far more accommodating hosts than anyone had predicted.

26-13 may look like a contest, but it wasn't. Had the eternally perfect Chris Paterson been kicking goals for Wales instead of Scotland, it would have been 37-5. As it was, the man who has scored all but 20 of Scotland's last six matches' worth of points against Wales, sat on the bench for 30 minutes, waiting for one of his hapless team-mates to injure himself. Once on the field, he led his team to a subsequent parity - in terms of points, at least.

That Wales settled for the hour-mark scoreline will frustrate fans and concern coaches, but there is an argument for keeping powder dry for when the English visit Cardiff on Saturday. On reflection, a solid, professional but unspectacular victory might be just what is needed. It should ensure that the spotlight remains to be shared with Ireland, whose calm dismantling of France has made everyone sit up and take notice. A perfect atmosphere, one suspects, for Gatland & Co. to quietly take care of matters arising this week.

Little Change

2009-01-02T17:12:00.004Z

The Scarlets are the latest club to become disillusioned with their bright new stadium. At just over 15,000 capacity, Parc Y Scarlets is not quite so hard to fill as the Liberty Stadium, but they're still getting nowhere near.

The result is a financial headache, and a matchday atmosphere less worthy of the name than the ice-clouds of Enceladus. TV pictures show entire banks of empty seats, while the soundtrack echos with the faint cries of beleagured fans bouncing off them. The impression is hardly one of an unmissable experience, and hence the vicious spiral continues. In the current climate of South Wales, the sofa seems an infinitely preferable option to all but the most masochistically loyal fan.

And yet, there is still no talk of cheaper tickets. The suits have their business models, of course, and if the numbers tell them that (for example) 7000*£16 is better than 14,000*£10, then I for one don't have the economics degree required to argue the point. But it does rather fly in the face of common sense, doesn't it? Of all the things keeping the droves of fans away from the shining new temples of regional rugby, can the lack of change from a "Bobby Moore" really be the least of them?

Rumours of Death

2008-12-22T15:36:00.002Z

A timely reversal of fortunes in the Magners League this weekend, with both the Scarlets and Dragons defying expectations with deserved victories over the Blues and Ospreys respectively... damn their eyes! :-)

So things are competitive in Wales again, and that's got to be healthy. Consolation for the Os came in the form of a losing bonus point, and also in the form of Gavin Henson. Finally able to boast two working ankles, a clear head, a clean disciplinary slate and a mostly, if not completely un-pregnant girlfriend, Gav ran in a casual brace just as a reminder that he's still a dab hand at that Rugby lark.

Mike Phillips was back, too. Things can only get better... right?

History Is Bunk

2008-11-07T16:51:00.006Z

Just as the wave of hope was cresting, it breaks against this. Yet again, keeping 22 human bodies intact between Tuesday and Saturday, proves beyond the power of Welsh Rugby.

The loss of Henson probably has more psychological impact on the team than anything; Roberts and Shanklin are no mugs. But with Hook on the bench, the Welsh backline suddenly looks a far blunter instrument.

Which is frustrating, because I was going to echo Jerry Guscott's words about how Wales are running out of excuses. Grand Slam champions should be feared on their own turf - regardless of history, no team shoud turn up at the Millennium Stadium and be expected to win, as South Africa widely are.

Ah, but that history... One win in over a century, ten games ago - it's a record that validates all that media skepticism. The recieved wisdom is that - world-class players notwithstanding - we just don't have the bottle.

It's well past time to put that to bed, so excuses be damned. Wales may not be at full-strength tomorrow - no team shorn of the likes Henson, Mike Phillips, Jon Thomas, Huw Bennett and Mark Jones can seriously be called that - but it's no "second string" either, and the visitors have squad issues of their own (and on top of them, they've had the cheek to pick talismanic captain Jon Smit out of position, which seems rather like to picking Superman to drive the Batmobile).

It's still World Champions against European Champions, and Saturday's hosts must live up to that billing. They must prove what we, as their supporters, suspect but perhaps don't quite yet believe - that the spring was not a lonely season, and that this time, Wales are the Real Deal.

Normal Service

2008-08-24T18:12:00.002+01:00

...will shortly resume.

Meanwhile;

xkcd - A webcomic of romance, sarcasm, math, and language.

A Bit Of Good Ol' Mutual Consent

2008-05-16T18:21:00.001+01:00

So, farewell then,
Lyn Jones.
You were
A good laugh
At times.

But it hasn't
Been funny for
Quite a while.

- I.S. Gibbs (63¾)

Disincentive

2008-05-06T17:05:00.001+01:00

Magners League to provide 24th Heineken Cup qualifier

As the league stutters to a close, this drops in. The higher-placed of Connacht and the Dragons will play in the Heineken next year, guaranteed.

The Ospreys have yet to play both teams. As a result of this move, and with the Ospreys already qualified, the clear interests of Welsh Rugby lie in the Ospreys throwing the Dragons game. This situation is not the fault of anyone at either club. If the Magners League has any sanction in place against such behaviour, it had better make it known quickly. Otherwise, Connacht will have a legitimate grievance should they miss out.

Had this announcement been delayed 24 hours, the Rodney Parade game would be done and dusted and there would be no issue. Connacht surely have the right to ask why this couldn't have been done?

No More Ifs...

2008-04-13T16:30:00.004+01:00

Where was I?

Ah well - disaster & triumph for the Ospreys, and it's still a tall order to treat those two impostors both the same. After burying Saracens in the EDF Cup semi, they contrived to fall meekly to the same opponents in the European quarter-finals. Inconsistency incarnate. Bah!

But as consolation prizes go, the EDF Cup isn't bad - and to take the trophy from the Leicester Tigers, at Twickenham, would be any Welsh team's dream. Some meaningful silverware in the Liberty Stadium cabinet - not to mention a healthy portion of sweet revenge - at long last.

Meanwhile, the Blues & Scarlets managed to serve up an eight-try thriller at the Arms Park, to give a welcome boost to the credibility of the Magners League. A corking match, made so more by attacking skills than defensive weaknesses, for a change. More, please!

As Grand as It Gets...

2008-03-17T11:41:00.013Z

Never in doubt, was it?

Mark Jones' impromptu rendition of "Rockin' All Over The World" on Corner Flag stole the after-match show, as might his late run have crowned the match had he made it another yard. So leave it to the Williams boys, then; one for the show-stopper, the other for the encore.

Shane not only became Wales' highest-ever tryscorer; his last two efforts have completed a full-house of top-flight victims. Surely even Ben Cohen must be impressed by now? As for the ageless "Nugget", well, I pondered for a while but couldn't beat this from The Telegraph's Martin Johnson:

"Williams is one of those players who appears to have powdered Duracell, rather than blood, flowing through his veins, and his work in those dark areas beneath piles of steaming bodies puts you in mind of a ferret plunging down rabbit holes. The French back row will doubtless spend the next few weeks checking underneath their beds, just to make sure he's not there."

The Cardiff rain pinged off the stadium roof, but records still fell from the sky; Shane's Top Gun, half the previous record for tries conceded in a 6N (2 to England's 4 in 2003), 10/10 wins from 6N starts for Gavin Henson... and almost lost in there, Wales' biggest win over the French since... well, Agincourt, probably.

Neutrals will deride the quality of the game, and fairly so. But it is probably the greatest signifier of Wales' renaissance that they can now win games like this, and win them comfortably. Croke Park last week was an even less gaudy spectacle than this game, but Wales' performance there was a rough diamond of high carat. This was even better. A full-strength French XV never looked like scoring a try, and the scrum they lost under the Welsh posts perfectly symbolized their inferiority. That incident alone should earn the match video an 18 rating in France, while forwards coaches elsewhere will be busy making screensavers out of it.

England ambushed; Scotland dismissed; Italy humbled; Ireland outmuscled; France nullified. Where next for this Welsh side? A two-match series in South Africa, no less. It doesn't get any easier, does it?

Yet you sense that this Wales outfit wouldn't have it any other way...

Grand, Or Just Good?

2008-03-14T23:43:00.004Z

So, it's 18 points, then. If Wales lose by 19, it stands to reason that they'll be behind France on tries (11 each at present), so 18 is the magic number. Surely a Shaun Edwards-coached side can't leak that badly?

It's kind of a shame that the Six Nations scoring system allows for such a potential anticlimax; once before (1994) Wales lifted the trophy after losing the final game, and there's nothing like it for turning a triumph into an embarrassment. By any rational analysis, winning this tournament would be (dare we say "has been"?) a remarkable feat of resurrection from the cold ashes of RWC2007; but it won't feel that way if Wales lose the game by the odd score tomorrow.

Ah well; all the more reason to go out and beat France, I suppose. But how annoying that they seem to have brought their real team this time. Rotten spoilsports!

Friends in Low Places

2008-03-10T22:22:00.004Z

Despite being edited almost to oblivion, I'm still going to link to "Carling's Round" episode 6, although nothing really interesting happens until about 10 minutes in :-) Don't know star quality when they see it, that lot!

The guys were very welcoming and friendly, and the whole thing was a "hoot", as we rugger-buggers say. Oh, and later that day Shaun Edwards and Clive Woodward both came out agreeing with me about the Cipriani affair. Where were you when I needed you, chaps? Well, okay Shaun - helping Wales win the Triple Crown is a decent excuse, I suppose...

Anyway... I'm ready for my close-up!

The Business End

2008-03-05T18:55:00.007Z

The Wales team is close to most predictions, although there's some surprise (perhaps even the odd whisper of dissent?) that Jamie Roberts' heroics against Munster weren't enough merit a bench spot. But we're in thrall to this coaching team's prescience so far, and we'll all probably eat our words when Mark Jones gets a hat-trick against the Irish...

Meanwhile, please forgive a little plug - Yours Truly will be appearing on a monitor near you via the Daily Telegraph video podcast, Carling's Round. Please check out episode 6 from Friday 7th onward. I shall be doing my level best to get the odd word in edgeways!

Benign Dictatorship?

2008-03-02T19:39:00.006Z

The issue of "player power" in Wales is again in the news after Gavin Henson's interview on BBC's ScrumV. Because it's Henson, reaction of all colours will be forthcoming, but his words carry the ring of truth. His problems with the previous regime were clear to see, and few will argue that a system which makes players like Henson happy, must be a good thing.

Not that much to cheer about on the field for Welsh teams this week; but the best was saved for last. Cardiff Blues' stunning finish against Munster could be argued to owe a debt to fortune, but the visitors' crazy attempt to play keep-ball on their own try-line for the last ten minutes, appears no less crazy for having almost worked.

Next up will be Warren Gatland's team announcement for Wales' trip to Dublin. Primed now to expect the unexpected, most observers still seem to anticipate Stephen Jones starting at 10 against the Irish. The accepted wisdom is that Wales will need calm control more than quick wits at the start. What is not in dispute is that we'll also need another step up from the forwards. Will this be Robin McBryde's finest hour?

Matters Arising

2008-02-28T11:26:00.009Z

Plenty happening off the field this week, after "Super Saturday" fed our appetites for action. There is argument over the culpability of Scott Macleod in his pharmacological crisis; for my money, we're getting too precious. A clearly honest mistake has been made - and any sport that proscribes asthma medication needs to be thinking again anyway. It is to my chagrin, but your advantage, that all the jokes conflating "Scotland" and "performance enhancement" have already been done.

Then there is the matter of disciplinary fallout from the Wales v Italy match; two Italian players cited for foul play. Mauro Bergamasco has earned a great deal of respect in these quarters over recent years, but has seriously undermined all that with his behaviour on Saturday. Carlo Del Fava's transparently cynical assault on Stephen Jones, however, has been deemed acceptable by the citing commission. This is incomprehensible in light of the publically available evidence (above), and the player's previous record. It's challenging to imagine how reasonable doubt about Del Fava's intentions could arise from a disinterested position.

Meanwhile, talk is surfacing again of the old idea of annually playing off the Six Nations and Tri-Nations champions. Notionally attractive, perhaps; but surely a logistical nightmare in a world of crowded fixture lists and imcompatible playing seasons? Such problems notwitstanding, resistance should be expected from those with material or emotional investements in the Rugby World Cup, whose stifling presence already so distorts the calendar. Any percieved erosion of the Web-Ellis Trophy's value as the "gold standard", will ruffle plenty of feathers - good enough reason in itself to raise the issue, perhaps.

Bogus, not Bonus.

2008-02-23T00:48:00.009Z

There's no doubting that Shaun Edwards is one of the sharpest tools in rugby's box. When he speaks about the game, everyone should listen. But his call for the introduction of bonus points to the Six Nations tournament is a non-starter. Not only wouldn't it work, but we wouldn't want it to.

The system works well in its original place - to encourage endeavour and discourage negativity in long league seasons. Bonus points add a little extra spice, a token, which can add up to something more valuable - and, by definition, deserved - at the end of the road.

In short tournaments, however, they are an unwelcome distortion. The Heineken and EDF cups are poorer for their inclusion in the group stages, as has been evidenced by recent events. Teams have been effectively eliminated too early, leaving a high proportion of "dead rubbers" (The Newport Gwent Dragons were dumped out of the EDF this season after one defeat, making a mockery of the group format.) Otherwise successful teams are penalised for one slight off-day where - despite winning - they failed to amass sufficient points against a minnow. And lest I be accused of hiding an agenda - yes, it still sticks in this writer's throat that Northampton qualified for the quarter-finals of last year's Heineken Cup at The Ospreys' expense, despite an inferior win/loss record.

The Six Nations is a simple win/lose format, and that works just fine. The driving need to find a winner at all costs has already led to the loss of the perfectly acceptable "shared" championship, and now we declare a winner on score difference. That's bad enough. Bonus points would take this beyond the absurd.

By illustration, here is last year's 6N table:

	P	W	D	L	F	A	Pt
France	5	4	0	1	155	86	8
Ireland	5	4	0	1	149	84	8
England	5	3	0	2	119	115	6
Italy	5	2	0	3	94	147	4
Wales	5	1	0	4	86	113	2
Scotland	5	1	0	4	95	153	2

And here is that same table adjusted by the BP system:

	P	W	D	L	F	A	Pt
Ireland	5	4	0	1	149	84	19
France	5	4	0	1	155	86	18
England	5	3	0	2	119	115	13
Italy	5	2	0	3	94	147	9
Wales	5	1	0	4	86	113	5
Scotland	5	1	0	4	95	153	5

I seriously doubt that anyone not living on the Emerald Isle would argue that this would have been a better, fairer result than the one we received. I'd argue that the title should have been shared. But if we must discriminate, then a comparison of points for/against over the whole tournament is, surely, fairer than rewarding the side who scored fewer points, but in the right games?

So much for all of that. However, I needn't have bothered - there's a simpler objection. One that kills the whole idea in a single blow. With bonus points in place, the possibility would exist that a team could win the Grand Slam, but lose the championship: Pure anathema. Hell, why are we even talking about it?

The press are obviously pestering Shaun Edwards for soundbites daily, and perhaps this was just him dropping a bomb to buy himself a few days' rest. I'd like to think so. His reputation as a rugby fixer extraordinaire is well-earned, and well-deserved.

But the Six Nations simply ain't broke.

Musical Justins

2008-02-17T14:09:00.005Z

No, it wasn't a very early April Fool - Justin Marshall really did play 80 minutes at full-back for the Ospreys!

A weekend off for the Six Nations, and that always feels weird. I was at the Liberty Stadium to watch the "Ospreys - Welsh Squad Members + Mike Phillips" stick a hatful on hapless Connacht. The outrageous Marshall ploy signaled either supreme confidence, or desperation. Fortunately for Marshall and Lyn Jones, it didn't really matter as the visitors lacked any idea of how to exploit the situation. Although they deserve some credit for trying to run the ball and not just kicking for territory, in truth they were fairly clueless with it, and their last-minute consolation try was simply due to the Ospreys unforgivably relaxing at a close-range penalty. Another "nil" would have been a welcome tonic, too... grrr...

After only needing second gear to see off an abject Scotland side, Wales look to the prospect of Italy' visit with confidence tempered by nervous caution - remembering that we haven't beaten the Azzurri since 2005. It is to be hoped that precise timekeeping will be unimportant - but just in case, perhaps the Millennium Stadium scoreboards should show the time remaining in a super-large font?

Panic Pandemic

2008-02-08T16:14:00.000Z

One round in, and 6N players are dropping like flies. For once, it is England who bear the brunt of the plague - not content with robbing them of four starters during the first game, the crock-fates have now targetted Tom Rees and Phil Vickery, leaving the team to face Italy with a decidedly patchwork feel.

Wales have got off lightly this time around, though the loss of Alun-Wyn Jones will hurt. More prominent in Welsh pre-game natter has been the refreshing approach of Warren Gatland; dropping under-performing players from a winning team, and publically explaining why. It sounds common-sense enough, but in Wales, it's little short of revolutionary. Meanwhile, big things are hoped for from Jamie Roberts on his first cap.

There was precious little attacking threat offered by Scotland last weekend, and stripping their XV of both Rory Lamont and Simon Webster has hardly made them look more formidable. This is precisely the problem for Wales, of course - they will now be comfortable favourites for Saturday's game, a position traditionally injurious to Welsh prospects. But a mental toughening is exactly what Gatland has targetted for this squad, so how they deal with justified expectations will be the key factor of their weekend.

19:26 - The Great Strike

2008-02-03T23:56:00.000Z

The Head had a shocker - the heart is on a roll. Quite how exactly Wales triumphed at Twickenham could probably be the basis of a PhD thesis, if not a whole book. The beating they took in that first half could surely only lead to another of those cricket scores, to which we have become numb? England's superiority - whether at set-piece, in their game-management, or in the incisiveness of their running - was so absolute that many Welsh fans must surely have been tempted to hit the M4 a full 50 minutes early?

And yet, inexplicably - gloriously - England threw it away. The Twickenham shooting party blew both its own feet off. Having clung on heroically, Wales were still there to pick up the pieces and exorcise a 20-year ghost with 20 minutes of punishingly clinical, intelligent rugby. Having been toyed with for an hour, they finished by dismissing England's last desperate twitches with something approaching contempt. It was rarely pretty, but it was in its own way magnificent.

Most encouraging of all the wonders of the day, however, was to hear Warren Gatland's sober reflections. Quick to point out how awful Wales had been for long periods, and equally quick to praise his battered warriors for getting off the ropes and landing the knockout. The sense of a man with his head screwed on only grows. He knows how often Wales have blown a good start in this tournament, and he knows we won't get another gift like this one.

The Calm...

2008-02-01T15:35:00.000Z

"So it's that time again; the team has been mulled over, the fly-half debate has polarised us, those without ferry tickets have booked their seats in the local, and the butterflies begin. In our heads, the voice of bitter experience tells us to expect little, to enjoy the moment, to be philosophical. But deep in our hearts breathes a dream of the impossible, and it just won't go away. It is our hearts laid bare, it is our Heaven and our Hell, but still they tell us, it's only a game. And a game with stupid-shaped balls, at that. What do they know?"

I wrote the above for Gwl@d's front page, the day before 6N kick-off in 2002. I haven't yet found better way to express how these few days always feel. A little more than 24 hours after I typed the above, Ireland put a half-century of points past Wales to end Graham Henry's shift at the wheel. I remember still feeling numb as I typed;

"The home crowd's joy carried overtones of disbelief, but the aftershock of this result in Wales can only be fearfully imagined. Wales were quite simply atrocious, and finding the will to carry on will be enough of a challenge for the coaches and the team, let alone the transformation required to rescue yet another Six Nations crisis."

and positively undead while responding, weeks later, to England's emulation of the feat:

"There is not much more to say about England's frankly ridiculous superiority. Wales gave it pretty much everything, but not only weren't they good enough, they weren't even on Planet Good Enough. It's less painful - but ultimately more wounding - because it's not a surprise."

Six years, a few more stuffings, and an increasingly incongruous Grand Slam later, and fear of another dose of that unpalatable (not to mention ineffective) medicine leaves a knot in the stomach. But next to it is that other knot, the red one, the one that hopes, and dreams, and reaches out of the stomach for the heart. It gets you every time. It tells you that this year, this time, it'll be different. And no matter how many times it is wrong, we remember the times it was right. That is our curse, our blessing, and our battle-cry as we head for the pub, the bus... or the away dressing room.

Club vs Country?

2008-01-31T13:40:00.000Z

RBS 6 Nations Rugby : Ospreys dominate Wales team

You've got to hand it to Warren Gatland - make a thoroughly conservative team selection, but make it look like a revolution - thirteen Ospreys players in the starting lineup.

It's throwing down a marker, allright. It's thinking the unthinkable; pick your first XV, and if they're all from the same place, so be it. A Welshman could never, in a million years, get away with it.

Whether Gatland gets away with it on the field, remains to be seen. On paper, there seems no reason why Wales can't compete a Twickenham, or even (gasp!) win. In terms of experience, the back rows are ludicrously mis-matched in Wales' favour; the half-backs look sharper; there are three lineout options; and if the back three look defensively suspect, so do England's.

But despite all that, scour the press and you won't find a single pundit predicting a Welsh victory. Not one. The reason is not a balanced assessment of the teams' relative qualities - it is, quite simply, History. Time and again Wales have gone to Twickenham with genuine hope. Time and again, they have left in shattered ignominy. In the previous decade of this fixture, they have conceded an average of 47 points, and scored an average of 16. The Welsh "Twickers Collapse" has become a tradition, and seems irrespective of the perceived quality of the side that takes the field.

So, where will it all go wrong this time? Certainly, in the front row, it looks like the same old story of Shermans vs King Tigers - the scrum will be torrid for Wales. If Gavin Henson has forgotten anything about Six Nations rugby, Toby Flood seems well set to remind him. Paul Sackey and Dave Strettle have the pace to at least match Mark Jones and Shane Williams. And if Gatland truly imagines that a bombardment of fullback Iain Balshaw can make the difference, he must know something about Lee Byrne that few others have spotted.

Still, its nothing if not intriguing. And even if the story stays the same on Saturday, in the long term, the new Welsh management team look to have their eyes on the ball. That in itself is worth celebrating.

Nil Is The New Three

2008-01-21T17:07:00.000Z

Gone are the days, it seems, where an overwhelmed side would post a plaintive 3 points on the board just to prove they'd turned up. The new fashion - debuted by Wales in Australia, gloriously sported by England in the World Cup - is to let a doughnut tell its own story. In the weekend's Heineken Cup action, the Dragons and the Scarlets earned an ignominious double-oh that signified anything but a license to thrill; while Bristol, having enjoyed their 17-0 stuffing of Stade Francais earlier, showed the Memorial Ground faithful the sharp end of the same scoreline in a meek defeat to the Blues. Cardiff's finest, though, inexplicably recalled the hounds before the eminently achievable home quarter-final draw was secured, and now must go to Toulouse. Ouch.

The Ospreys made heavy weather of things at Bourgoin, looking superior but never comfortable thoughout. The result, however, was everything they could have hoped for in the end. Top seeds or not, Saracens don't look like the worst away draw this year. Timely displays of form from Ryan Jones, Sonny Parker and Gavin Henson added to the satisfaction of the weekend, but none so much as the blistering form of Martyn Williams for the Blues, days after being coaxed out of an international retirement that nearly everyone agreed was premature. Arguably the best openside flanker in Britain, Williams remains vital to Wales' prospects in the medium term, and his return could hardly be more welcome - provided he can keep that look out of his eye this time...

Uncharted Waters

2008-01-14T14:33:00.000Z

For all our frailties, Welsh Rugby stands on the brink of a modest first; two teams in the last eight of the European Cup. Naysayers will point to the undeniable truth that we have ridden this far on the backs of a phalanx of Southern Hemisphere forward talent; Rush, Tiatia, Tito, Hola...

But that's not quite the whole story, and there has been a Welsh flavour. The emergence of Jamie Roberts as a prospect so hot that he's being touted to hold the line at Twickenham; the effervescent displays by Gareth Williams, beguiling us to believe that we might finally have found a hooker; and the treat of yet another moment of individual inspiration from Gavin "What's He Ever Done?" Henson, which broke the backs of Gloucester.

But individuals aside, fans have genuinely begun to detect a change - a hint of steely resolve, of intransigence, of cold pragmatism. Are we kidding ourselves? Or are our professional teams finally, finally getting it? Wouldn't that be great?

The Blues and the Ospreys face one more test each - in England and France respectively - before they must face the even trickier task of avoiding each other in the quarter-final draw. Well, let's be optimistic, eh?

Scrappy New Year

2008-01-06T16:12:00.000Z

The Celtic League has not, it would be fair to say, had a great Christmas. The standard of Rugby over the holidays was consistently dire, with the Welsh regions major offenders.

This week, the Ospreys' second-string once again gave fans more to cheer than the firsts have managed of late - ultimately leaving the RDS empty-handed, but having performed creditably against a full-strength Leinster outfit. The Blues, meanwhile, were outdone at water polo by Edinburgh - and you have to say that Phil Godman's 35m drop-goal, off that quagmire, was a thing of wonder and a worthy matchwinner. That it should have come to that, however, is simply unacceptable. It was left to the Dragons again to provide Welsh cheer; a valuable away win in Glasgow confirming them as our best performers of the holiday period.

Elsewhere, sad to note that superfrog Christophe Dominici has retired from international rugby. One of the game's true characters, his heady mix of the sublime (shredding the All Blacks in RWC99) and ridiculous (remember his comedy in-goal fumble against Italy?) will certainly be missed. Bon chance, boyo!

The Derby of Death

2007-12-31T18:27:00.001Z

A bumper harvest of 16,509 willing victims endured slow torture at the Liberty Stadium, as the Ospreys struggled into an arthritic second gear that was more than enough to dismiss the hapless Blues. With the arguable exception of the ever-industrious Tom Shanklin, Dai Young's men will wonder why they bothered to turn up, and most of us in the crowd will feel the same - particularly any unfortunate enough to have travelled from Cardiff in the unfulfilled expectation of watching their team play a game of rugby. There will not be a worse game in the Magners league this year.

Huw Bennett's try came from the only truly promising move of the entire match, which was otherwise dominated by second-rate defence subduing third-rate attack, and the Blues getting the rough end of Nigel Owens' whistle. James Hook's boot faultlessly punished them and the Ospreys never looked in danger, despite looking uninterested at best. The 22-3 scoreline flattered both sides.

Allez Les Blues

2007-12-16T22:50:00.000Z

A half-decent weekend for the Welsh regions this time. Both of our teams who stood a realistic chance of European Cup qualification on Friday, still do.

The Scarlets' reputation as a cup team continued to take a pounding as they predictably slumped to P4 W0, while Treviso extracted tit-for-tat at Rodney Parade. The Ospreys' 8-16 victory at Ravenhill would look impressive in most contexts, but the failure to gain a bonus point in fact means that their already tenuous grip on their own destiny has now gone; whatever they do against Gloucester next game, Gloucester will only have to get a bonus-point win at home to Ulster to top Pool 2; it's difficult to imagine them failing. The Os look in good shape for one of the two best second place qualification spots, but they'll have to do it the hard way.

Top mark of the weekend easily goes to the Cardiff Blues - a 31-21 victory over champions Stade Français puts them up on the rubber, having gained a bonus point in the 12-6 defeat in Paris. They made it harder work than they should have following a commanding performance, but Dai Flanagan's last-minute drop-goal to deny Stade a bonus point was encouragingly parsimonious from a team so apt to present opponents with late gifts. Bristol - the surprise package of the competition so far - wait to avenge their first-day drubbing in what looks likely to be the pool decider.

Hensongate

2007-12-14T14:31:00.000Z

The Ospreys' statement concerning Gavin Henson indicates that their PR machine is at least semi-operational. Nevertheless one can't help but think it would be better - and probably cheaper - to give star players extensive coaching on the pitfalls of celebrity, rather than constantly slamming gates behind bolted horses.

A question no-one seems to be asking is; why was Henson travelling home from a game privately with "friends", and not on the team coach? More evidence for the damaging rumours about his unpopularity with teammates? If so, then it's not just Gavin who needs a stern talking-to.

Thinking Outside The Boks

2007-11-25T00:02:00.000Z

Was there really any pretense at making it a contest in Wales' preparation for the game? The new-look team played almost as if the opposition weren't there. As if the only appropriate response to losing possession was to let the other lot score so we can have the ball back. Defence? No, that's next week's training session. Didn't you get the memo?

South Africa had five pieces of quality possession, and scored five tries. The rest of the match seemed to consist entirely of brave, often inventive, but horribly toothless Welsh attack. It seems only yesterday that we were complaining that our backs could beat anyone given a fair share of ball. Hang on... it was yesterday! Well, we can add that to the list of cozy little delusions to disabuse ourselves of. Wales had hold of the pill nearly all game, and could only manage 12 points.

That doesn't tell anywhere near the full story, of course. There was much to admire, particularly in the attacking play of debutant Morgan Stoddart, and the application and distribution shown by Gavin Henson which indicated he may be on his way back for real. It's relevant and fair to welcome the positives visible in Wales' performance, provided we keep our eyes on the 34-12 scoreline, which in a home game is no approximation of Good Enough. Wozza (and Shaun?) will have winced at the frailty of some of the first-up defence; your mission, chaps, should you choose to accept it...

Let's Hope The Cunning Lingers

2007-11-22T02:43:00.000Z

Licence to thrill: "Davies kept his cards close to his chest about who would mark Habana – Shanklin or Mark Jones – quipping, 'We have got a cunning plan.'"

Blackadder-literate Welsh fans may wish to retort that the Welsh management's record in this regard is hardly 100%. It's hard to remember an on-field strategy from Wales that anyone could brush their teeth with...

But enough - what of the game? Can this new-fangled outfit really hope to keep up with the giddily confident Springboks? A glance at recent domestic form suggest otherwise; debutant Morgan Stoddart had a nightmare for the Scarlets against Wasps last weekend; the Hook-Henson hinge - while undoubtedly the best option - still looks like a squirt of WD40 wouldn't go amiss; and where that pack will suddenly discover hitherto unseen ball-winning skills, is a question I ponder with more apprehension than genuine intrigue.

But would it really be better for Wales to lose, as some suggest? It's a compelling argument - we're in a mess, it needs sorting out, and a miracle win against the rampant World Champions would create a short-term high allowing much-needed reforms to be put off yet again. On the other hand, a defeat so universally predicted can hardly make the situation much worse.

Compelling, as I said; but I'm afraid I remain stubbornly uncompelled. The simple equation of success is; Success=Success. The best way to win the next game will always be to have won your last one, and if decades of underachievement have taught Welsh fans even one lesson, it is surely that losing never, ever solved anything?

Oh, and apologies for the post title. It's in the blood, I'm afraid; I have a punning clan, you see.

Reality Bites

2007-11-19T14:51:00.000Z

Oh, dear oh dear.

The annual European meltdown has come early for Welsh clubs, it seems, and with a bit of luck it might all be over by Christmas. The Dragons and Scarlets both spanked at home, and the Ospreys meekly surrendering a dominant position at Kingsholm... pretty pathetic, really.

Wasps' masterclass in using defence as an offensive weapon left the myth of "Fortress Stradey" in shreds. If Shaun Edwards can do that for Wales, then I for one will welcome our new baldy overlord.

Hurrah for the Blues, then, and their useful away draw at The Stoop. More than they deserved, frankly - but none the less welcome. A mention in dispatches for Dai Flanagan, who after two appearances is looking quite handy for a third-choice #10. Similar depth of talent up front would be nice though, eh?

"I'll Go Home Please, Sue."

2007-11-11T21:27:00.000Z

Welsh sides' fortunes remained fairly constant as we transferred to the Heineken Cup - two home wins, two away defeats, same old same old. The Dragons' bonus point at Perpignan looks worth the trip, but despite playing their part in a great spectacle, the Scarlets couldn't bring anything home from Clermont. The Ospreys put spectators and commentators through a horror show at Liberty Stadium before seeing off Bourgoin - it's to be hoped that the 4-1 points exchange won't come back to bite them later.

Performance of the weekend is a doddle to call, though, thanks to the Blues' comeback romp against Bristol. A game of two halves, this - or more accurately, a game of 39 minutes and 41 minutes. No surprise, really, that the Blues struggled to get a platform even against an average English pack. Scarcely any more when, having done so, they ran their guests ragged. In all, the weekend has done little more than throw the obvious weaknesses of the Welsh game into increasingly sharp relief. Give us a fast, open game and we can mix it with anyone; challenge us up front, and we simply can't cope. The Scarlets' backline was aflame in France, but their forwards - the heroic Alix Popham aside - were bullied out of it. Bourgoin never seriously threatened to score tries in Swansea, but their percentage game nicked them a slice of the spoils.

It's impossible not to sound like a broken record on this issue - but it's fundamental, and we're still not sorting it out, at club or national level. There's no point having fly-half factories if we have to import entire packs. At the moment our best forwards are Filo Tiatia, Paul Tito and Xavier Rush. Let's hope our latest import can offer some answers. Over to you, Woz...

Warren Piece

2007-11-09T03:34:00.000Z

The UK press are still being a little coy about Warren Gatland's appointment, but Waikato's own web site doesn't feel any such restriction. As I type there are still a few hours to go until it's officially, factologically true. Plenty of time for all manner of cock-ups, then. But probably not.

Of course, this means that the new coach has been appointed before the Elite Performance Director, under whom he will notionally be working. So we've put the cart before the horse rather. Still, this being Welsh rugby, I suppose we should be thankful to have a cart at all. Two working wheels will be a welcome bonus.

Now then; a horse...

A horse! Our Principality for a horse!

No Place Like Home

2007-11-04T10:52:00.000Z

A bad weekend on the road, but a good one at home for the Welsh regions in the EDF Energy Cup. The Scarlets disposed of Leeds, playing some exhibition rugby at times as they "did it for Grav". But the Blues met the Tigers hoodoo yet again, and the Dragons were in proximity but cigarless at Newcastle.

This afternoon I watched the Ospreys dismantle a rather pathetic London Irish outfit at the Liberty Stadium. They made heavy going of it in the first half, falling foul of the referee and throwing over-ambitious passes, one of which let in the visitors for a score. But it was the only way they ever were going to score, and an eventual try tally of 7-1 speaks of a job done well enough in the end. After scoring 98 points in two games, the obvious worry is that the Os haven't been properly tested. We'll probably see against Bourgoin next week...

Beyond The Grav

2007-11-01T07:46:00.000Z

Ray Gravell dies (BBC)

Dear old 'Grav' was often a figure of fun to Welsh rugby fans for his exuberance and enthusiasm for all things Welsh, rugby, and especially Llanelli. But it's hard to find one who didn't - at least secretly - love the mad bugger. The sheer goodwill he seemed to radiate was a rare and precious thing in our little world.

If ever there was a player who deserved to last the full 80, here he was. Thanks for everything, Ray.

Chalk 47, Cheese 16

2007-10-30T18:53:00.000Z

Ospreys sack Sixways - (Planet Rugby)

Presumably "Sixways" is a new nickname for Ospreys forwards coach Jonathan Humphreys? Coined because he knew six different ways of being offside, perhaps?

In a game that was a testament to the contrasting weaknesses of English & Welsh rugby, the Ospreys' pack were thoroughly bullied by the English Premiership's bottom side, while their backs shredded the Warriors' defence at will.

Mike Ruddock has clearly performed his customary set-piece surgery on the Worcester outfit. However, it apparently remains easier for a camel to pass through the eye of a needle, than for a rugby ball to pass along their three-quarter line.

But the old adage that "forwards win matches" took a pounding here; as did an Ospreys front five containing four Welsh internationals. It speaks of the Warriors' cluelessness behind the scrum that a visiting back division continually on the back foot still outscored them by seven tries to one.

It's always fun to stuff the English, of course, but this result can't be allowed to hide the glaring deficiencies in the Ospreys' game; because better teams than Worcester can and will exploit them.