The Derby of Death

A bumper harvest of 16,509 willing victims endured slow torture at the Liberty Stadium, as the Ospreys struggled into an arthritic second gear that was more than enough to dismiss the hapless Blues. With the arguable exception of the ever-industrious Tom Shanklin, Dai Young's men will wonder why they bothered to turn up, and most of us in the crowd will feel the same - particularly any unfortunate enough to have travelled from Cardiff in the unfulfilled expectation of watching their team play a game of rugby. There will not be a worse game in the Magners league this year.


Huw Bennett's try came from the only truly promising move of the entire match, which was otherwise dominated by second-rate defence subduing third-rate attack, and the Blues getting the rough end of Nigel Owens' whistle. James Hook's boot faultlessly punished them and the Ospreys never looked in danger, despite looking uninterested at best. The 22-3 scoreline flattered both sides.

Allez Les Blues

A half-decent weekend for the Welsh regions this time. Both of our teams who stood a realistic chance of European Cup qualification on Friday, still do.

The Scarlets' reputation as a cup team continued to take a pounding as they predictably slumped to P4 W0, while Treviso extracted tit-for-tat at Rodney Parade. The Ospreys' 8-16 victory at Ravenhill would look impressive in most contexts, but the failure to gain a bonus point in fact means that their already tenuous grip on their own destiny has now gone; whatever they do against Gloucester next game, Gloucester will only have to get a bonus-point win at home to Ulster to top Pool 2; it's difficult to imagine them failing. The Os look in good shape for one of the two best second place qualification spots, but they'll have to do it the hard way.

Top mark of the weekend easily goes to the Cardiff Blues - a 31-21 victory over champions Stade Français puts them up on the rubber, having gained a bonus point in the 12-6 defeat in Paris. They made it harder work than they should have following a commanding performance, but Dai Flanagan's last-minute drop-goal to deny Stade a bonus point was encouragingly parsimonious from a team so apt to present opponents with late gifts. Bristol - the surprise package of the competition so far - wait to avenge their first-day drubbing in what looks likely to be the pool decider.

Hensongate

The Ospreys' statement concerning Gavin Henson indicates that their PR machine is at least semi-operational. Nevertheless one can't help but think it would be better - and probably cheaper - to give star players extensive coaching on the pitfalls of celebrity, rather than constantly slamming gates behind bolted horses.

A question no-one seems to be asking is; why was Henson travelling home from a game privately with "friends", and not on the team coach? More evidence for the damaging rumours about his unpopularity with teammates? If so, then it's not just Gavin who needs a stern talking-to.

Thinking Outside The Boks

Was there really any pretense at making it a contest in Wales' preparation for the game? The new-look team played almost as if the opposition weren't there. As if the only appropriate response to losing possession was to let the other lot score so we can have the ball back. Defence? No, that's next week's training session. Didn't you get the memo?

South Africa had five pieces of quality possession, and scored five tries. The rest of the match seemed to consist entirely of brave, often inventive, but horribly toothless Welsh attack. It seems only yesterday that we were complaining that our backs could beat anyone given a fair share of ball. Hang on... it was yesterday! Well, we can add that to the list of cozy little delusions to disabuse ourselves of. Wales had hold of the pill nearly all game, and could only manage 12 points.

That doesn't tell anywhere near the full story, of course. There was much to admire, particularly in the attacking play of debutant Morgan Stoddart, and the application and distribution shown by Gavin Henson which indicated he may be on his way back for real. It's relevant and fair to welcome the positives visible in Wales' performance, provided we keep our eyes on the 34-12 scoreline, which in a home game is no approximation of Good Enough. Wozza (and Shaun?) will have winced at the frailty of some of the first-up defence; your mission, chaps, should you choose to accept it...

Let's Hope The Cunning Lingers

Licence to thrill: "Davies kept his cards close to his chest about who would mark Habana – Shanklin or Mark Jones – quipping, 'We have got a cunning plan.'"

Blackadder-literate Welsh fans may wish to retort that the Welsh management's record in this regard is hardly 100%. It's hard to remember an on-field strategy from Wales that anyone could brush their teeth with...

But enough - what of the game? Can this new-fangled outfit really hope to keep up with the giddily confident Springboks? A glance at recent domestic form suggest otherwise; debutant Morgan Stoddart had a nightmare for the Scarlets against Wasps last weekend; the Hook-Henson hinge - while undoubtedly the best option - still looks like a squirt of WD40 wouldn't go amiss; and where that pack will suddenly discover hitherto unseen ball-winning skills, is a question I ponder with more apprehension than genuine intrigue.

But would it really be better for Wales to lose, as some suggest? It's a compelling argument - we're in a mess, it needs sorting out, and a miracle win against the rampant World Champions would create a short-term high allowing much-needed reforms to be put off yet again. On the other hand, a defeat so universally predicted can hardly make the situation much worse.

Compelling, as I said; but I'm afraid I remain stubbornly uncompelled. The simple equation of success is; Success=Success. The best way to win the next game will always be to have won your last one, and if decades of underachievement have taught Welsh fans even one lesson, it is surely that losing never, ever solved anything?

Oh, and apologies for the post title. It's in the blood, I'm afraid; I have a punning clan, you see.

Reality Bites

Oh, dear oh dear.

The annual European meltdown has come early for Welsh clubs, it seems, and with a bit of luck it might all be over by Christmas. The Dragons and Scarlets both spanked at home, and the Ospreys meekly surrendering a dominant position at Kingsholm... pretty pathetic, really.

Wasps' masterclass in using defence as an offensive weapon left the myth of "Fortress Stradey" in shreds. If Shaun Edwards can do that for Wales, then I for one will welcome our new baldy overlord.

Hurrah for the Blues, then, and their useful away draw at The Stoop. More than they deserved, frankly - but none the less welcome. A mention in dispatches for Dai Flanagan, who after two appearances is looking quite handy for a third-choice #10. Similar depth of talent up front would be nice though, eh?

"I'll Go Home Please, Sue."

Welsh sides' fortunes remained fairly constant as we transferred to the Heineken Cup - two home wins, two away defeats, same old same old. The Dragons' bonus point at Perpignan looks worth the trip, but despite playing their part in a great spectacle, the Scarlets couldn't bring anything home from Clermont. The Ospreys put spectators and commentators through a horror show at Liberty Stadium before seeing off Bourgoin - it's to be hoped that the 4-1 points exchange won't come back to bite them later.

Performance of the weekend is a doddle to call, though, thanks to the Blues' comeback romp against Bristol. A game of two halves, this - or more accurately, a game of 39 minutes and 41 minutes. No surprise, really, that the Blues struggled to get a platform even against an average English pack. Scarcely any more when, having done so, they ran their guests ragged. In all, the weekend has done little more than throw the obvious weaknesses of the Welsh game into increasingly sharp relief. Give us a fast, open game and we can mix it with anyone; challenge us up front, and we simply can't cope. The Scarlets' backline was aflame in France, but their forwards - the heroic Alix Popham aside - were bullied out of it. Bourgoin never seriously threatened to score tries in Swansea, but their percentage game nicked them a slice of the spoils.

It's impossible not to sound like a broken record on this issue - but it's fundamental, and we're still not sorting it out, at club or national level. There's no point having fly-half factories if we have to import entire packs. At the moment our best forwards are Filo Tiatia, Paul Tito and Xavier Rush. Let's hope our latest import can offer some answers. Over to you, Woz...